Thursday, September 14, 2006

My Master Plan to Enslave the World

It became apparent in a previous post that someone was on to me -- they realized that what I have been trying to do is to create a real estate bubble in Marin. That is not entirely correct. Puhleeze. I have in fact been striving to create a real estate bubble not only in the entire country but also over the entire face of the globe! Hannibal, Alexander, Caesar, Khan...they're all panzies by comparison.

It would be an understatement to say that it has not been easy. You see, to pull this off I realized very early on that a shrewd understanding of human psychology was required. I know from personal experience that administering pleasure for a brief period of time and then abruptly taking it away only heightens that pleasure later when it is again applied. It's called "priming the system". Therefore, to accomplish my ultimate diabolical goal I had to first create the impression of great wealth and then abruptly take it way. So my evil plot began by engineering the tech bubble. This required talking to my buddies at the Fed to crank up the printing presses and flood the U.S. financial system with liquidity. They were all too happy to oblige as they owed me a few favors; Greenspan was my poodle you see. A few anonymous letters to Gates, Ellison, Jobs, etc. and the foundations of a tech bubble were laid.

Anyway, after the tech bubble got really hot and everyone and their brother fancied themselves a stock investing genius I told Greenspan to bring it to an end which he did. Unfortunately, the financial aftermath of the tech bubble collapse was a little harsher than I would have liked so Greenie (as I am fond of calling him) had to drop the over night lending rate to frighteningly low levels. Everyone was feeling really poor and thus desperately ready for the next bubble...the real one...The Big One...the Bubble to End All Bubbles...but those dang Muslim extremists had to go and try and spoil it for everyone. It was touch and go for a while and I thought I might fail but fortunately American ingenuity, economic flexibility, and all that economic dark matter floating around prevailed in the end. And Greenie's further dropping of the interest rates to the point of almost making money free didn't hurt either.

Once the system was holding it's own, Greenie's interest rates made the carry trade an obvious winner. All part of the plan my friends. Banks started lending to everyone as anticipated, even to corpses (I admit that I didn't see that one coming but it's all good)! What with the cheap money, all the tax savings associated with mortgages, etc. people were buying up houses like crazy as predicted. The fact that they are illiquid, depreciating assets didn't matter. The fact that fraud was rampant didn't matter either. And I knew I could count on denial, cognitive dissonance, self-justification, and the typical American's ignorance of history to supercharge the bubble to heights unseen. As a result, it got so frenzied it even scared me a little; sort of like how Dr. Frankenstein must have felt when his creation first rose from the slab..."it's alive, ALIIIIIIIIVE!". And everyone was so giddy with greed and so convinced that they were real estate investor geniuses that no one bothered to stop and think about it.

But chaining Americans to their mortgages wasn't enough you see. I needed more; something was missing. Ah, I know -- credit cards. American's love their credit cards almost as much as they love the TV. My connections in the credit card industry run deep and they agreed to give out cards like they were candy. And when I asked them to lobby for that bankruptcy law they were aquiver with delight. My pals in Congress caved like the spineless jellyfish they are (don't you just love America?) and now the final stage of my Master Plan is in place...crash the bubble, wipe out trillions in paper wealth, enslave the populace with debt that neither they nor their grandchildren will ever be able to repay, and do it the world over. This blog is but a means to an end you see. The noose is around the neck of America and I'm tightening it down. Almost there. And then you are mine.

32 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Where's the clip playing "Sympathy for the Devil"?

Sep 15, 2006, 8:21:00 AM  
Blogger kpom said...

WE bow down to our new overlord!

(And remember to always pay the full and equitable 6% when selling your house.)

Sep 15, 2006, 8:51:00 AM  
Blogger Roro-says said...

You are ingenious . . . INGENIOUS I said!

[Ha ha ha] (The count from Sesame Street laugh - lightening in the backgroud - small clap of thunder.)

Sep 15, 2006, 8:52:00 AM  
Blogger kpom said...

It's amazing how much damage evil plotters as yourself can do.

Remember, the late Ken Lay testified that Enron was a solid, reputable, highly profitable firm until the Wall Street Journal printed a couple of nasty articles about Enron, at which point the whole edifice collapsed.

Similarly, left to its own devices, the real estate market would naturally keep rising and rising until the average home in Marin was worth twenty million. However, one evil blog has the potential to destroy trillions of dollars of value through nay-saying. When the Founding Fathers passed the First Amendment to the Consitution, they obviously did not forsee the destruction and evil that negative reporting on real estate could cause.

Sep 15, 2006, 8:58:00 AM  
Blogger marin_explorer said...

Dr. Evil-
I justknew you were behind all this--and no doubt conducted form your underground base deep inside Mt. Tam.

Now that the monster is loose in the village, what are you going to do about it?

Sep 15, 2006, 9:04:00 AM  
Blogger Lander said...

So you're the one who created the housing bubble after all! I always suspected as much. Forget David Lereah, stone The Prophet!

Sep 15, 2006, 9:06:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How's living in that cramped apartment working out for you?? LOL!!!!

Sep 15, 2006, 9:30:00 AM  
Blogger Marinite said...

and no doubt conducted form your underground base deep inside Mt. Tam.

LOL! Indeed. My lair is really high tech, which was another reason for my needing to create the tech bubble, with lots and lots of stainless steel stuff, sharks in moats around my throne room, spandex-clad minions pushing lots of buttons, a big laser beam gun, you know... the sort of stuff any Dr. Evil worth his mettle would have sitting around.

Now that the monster is loose in the village, what are you going to do about it?

Well, my vision of the world is, naturally, as one huge golf course. Those white balls on top of my hidden underground evil lair? Golf balls of course. My nuclear powered orbital golf club is maneuvering into position as I speak, lining up for a hole-in-one to take out any and all opposition.

Sep 15, 2006, 10:00:00 AM  
Blogger Rob Dawg said...

Loan sharks with friggin' lasers!

Remember this?:
http://exurbannation.blogspot.com/2006/07/attention-fbs.html

Sep 15, 2006, 10:11:00 AM  
Blogger Marinite said...

Robert Cote -

I forgot about that. Cool. But no, I'm sorry, you are mistaken as I am the REAL Dr. Evil dontchya know. There can be only one!

But how about an evil alliance? You can have SoCal, I'll take NorCal and together we'll rule the world.

So where is your underground evil lair? I bet you have a really cool high tech pad on Catalina and you have one of those really cool high tech evil yachts with lots of missles and stuff on it with below-the-waterline hatches so that your scuba diver minions can go to and fro unseen.

Sep 15, 2006, 10:23:00 AM  
Blogger marin_explorer said...

Well, my vision of the world is, naturally, as one huge golf course.

So no doubt "global warming" is also part of your grand design? Everyone will golf in their shorts far into winter. Then, once you take control of the world's golf course, everyone must pay your green fees...of one meeelion dollars!
You must be stopped!

Sep 15, 2006, 10:30:00 AM  
Blogger Marinite said...

So no doubt "global warming" is also part of your grand design? Everyone will golf in their shorts far into winter. Then, once you take control of the world's golf course, everyone must pay your green fees...of one meeelion dollars!
You must be stopped!


Welcome to the Dark Side my young Padawan.

http://tinyurl.com/e8n5l

Sep 15, 2006, 10:39:00 AM  
Blogger Athena said...

Forget Cumbaya... All of us evil bubble bloggers sing it together now:

"I can turn the grey sky blue. I can make it rain whenever I want it to. I can build a castle from a single grain of sand. I can make a ship sail on dry land. All these things that you know I can do...Now watch me blow a real estate bubble just for all of you!"

;-D

Sep 15, 2006, 11:21:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

These Fb's on Elm street, USA, will be BEGGING you to chain then to the railroad tracks in front of an oncoming Freight before this Happy Halloween homeslave slaughter is over Dr. Evil! hee hee

Sep 15, 2006, 11:25:00 AM  
Blogger Rob Dawg said...

But how about an evil alliance? You can have SoCal, I'll take NorCal and together we'll rule the world.

Not the whole world, just the important part; Kalifornia.

My secret mountaintop lair(s) are provisioned with all the tools and comforts evil requires. It will only be after global warming that they become secret waterfront lair(s).

As to minions? Mutant chimps manged by genetically manupulated cats with opposable thumbs. They do not like too swim so I spread e-v-i-l from a special Big Underground Terror Tunnel. Thus the origin of the phrase; "Home prices will go down when monkeys fly out of my BUTT!"

Sep 15, 2006, 11:28:00 AM  
Blogger Rob Dawg said...

Oh, and I'l play you best 2 out of 3 "Rock, Paper, Scissors." Loser gets Bakersfield.

Sep 15, 2006, 11:30:00 AM  
Blogger Rob Dawg said...

Umm, you guys know that I really do live on a golf course. Right? And you are just kidding... right!?

Sep 15, 2006, 11:33:00 AM  
Blogger Marinite said...

Umm, you guys know that I really do live on a golf course. Right? And you are just kidding... right!?

Uh, no. At least, I didn't.

The thing about the golf course is an inside joke on this blog. Golfing in early winter in Marin was once claimed to be one of the defining intangibles for why Marin house prices are so high.

Sep 15, 2006, 11:47:00 AM  
Anonymous SF Mechanist said...

MUAHAHAhahahhahaha....

Sep 15, 2006, 11:52:00 AM  
Blogger Robert Coté said...

Yep, golf course for real.

http://tinyurl.com/lu6om

Anyway, I remember the "inside joke." That's why I wasn't sure if it was just a joke. I live next ot a golf course so I don't have to live next to other houses. Izzz guuud.

Sep 15, 2006, 12:03:00 PM  
Blogger marin_explorer said...

I live next ot a golf course so I don't have to live next to other houses.

It's not too shabby to have acres of trimmed grass behind you without fences--and yours looks like a good development. I suppose we couldn't complain either, especially since our windows weren't in line w/drives. Nowadays, I'll take water over grass n' golfers.

Sep 15, 2006, 1:29:00 PM  
Anonymous tom stone said...

Damn,i was sure the butler did it.

Sep 15, 2006, 1:51:00 PM  
Blogger cajun100 said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Sep 15, 2006, 3:09:00 PM  
Blogger cajun100 said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Sep 15, 2006, 3:09:00 PM  
Blogger cajun100 said...

Robert C:

Your google reference brought me pangs of deja vu -- my first out-of-UC job was working for Janss Investment Corporation on Lynn Ranch at Thousand Oaks, Las Posas, Camarillo, Los Robles, etc. before I escaped to the Hawaii projects.

In the days when we could actually work at our Santa Monica Airport offices and drive back and forth to Ventura County without difficulty.

Sep 15, 2006, 3:09:00 PM  
Blogger Max said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Sep 16, 2006, 7:30:00 AM  
Blogger Max said...

You haven't got us all, and I have a plan to defeat you!!!

Fight back against junk mail

Sep 16, 2006, 7:32:00 AM  
Blogger sf jack said...

"The thing about the golf course is an inside joke on this blog. Golfing in early winter in Marin was once claimed to be one of the defining intangibles for why Marin house prices are so high."

And that was fredtobik.

Additionally, fred did mention that while wearing shorts playing golf in January, one could live in Marin and also be only four hours from skiing.

Sep 16, 2006, 12:56:00 PM  
Blogger Marinite said...

Shame on you jack. ;)

Sep 16, 2006, 5:18:00 PM  
Anonymous seattle price drop said...

Marinite-

Thankyou for sharing with us the details of how you created then proceeded to begin bursting the RE bubble.

I've been lying awake at night trying to figure out how one person could accomplish SO MUCH.

You are truly diabolical.

I know now that the desires of us common folk do not mean much to you and you are only in this game for your own sick enjoyment/recreation but, if you have any heart or human feeling left, could you please work it into your plans to burst this bubble fast and furious so that us lowly humans can go back to life and love again and quit worrying about the price of houses?

Thankyou,

Seattle Price Drop

Sep 17, 2006, 11:21:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Seattle Price Drop -

Just look at the 10-year rate. It is picking up, and pretty soon when it reaches 6% or 7%, you will hear the popping sound of the bubble.

Sep 18, 2006, 10:35:00 AM  
Anonymous seattle price drop said...

Thanks for the tip Anon.

I'll be watching that 10 year rate with more eagerness than ever now.

Sep 18, 2006, 1:39:00 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

Terms of Use: The purpose of the Marin Real Estate Bubble weblog (located at URL http://marinrealestatebubble.blogspot.com/ and henceforth referred to as “MREB” or “this site”) is to present and discuss information relating to real estate and the real estate industry in general (locally, state-wide, nationally, and internationally) as it pertains to the thesis that recent real estate related activity is properly characterized as a “speculative mania” or a “bubble”. MREB is a non-profit, community site that depends on community participation and feedback. While MREB administrators do strive to confirm all information presented here and qualify all doubtful items, the information presented at MREB is neither definitive nor should it be construed as professional advice. All information published on MREB is provided “as is” without warranty of any kind and the administrators of this site shall not be liable for any direct or indirect damages arising out of use of this site. This site is moderated by MREB administrators and the MREB administrators reserve the right to edit, remove, or refuse postings that are off-topic, defamatory, libelous, offensive, or otherwise deemed inappropriate by MREB administrators. You should consult a finance professional before making any decisions based on information found on this site.

The contributors to this site may, from time to time, hold short (or long) positions in mentioned and related companies.